A few months ago, I friend called my crying. She told me that she and her hubby of whom she thought was her soul mate broke up. These two were indeed inseparable, so, this phone call came out of a sudden. After six years her true love disclosed himself to be a fraud. He spilled the beans by saying
I DON’T NEED YOU
That’s what she is telling herself over and over. He said that he doesn’t need her. Of course, she forgot to tell herself over and over, as well, that she asked him do you need me like it is equivalent to do you love me. By the way, don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to. But that is not the point of this story. She dropped the question after he told her he wanted to fulfill his dream which was quitting his job and travel the world. She didn’t. He wanted to go anyway. Alone if he must.
Also, she forgot the other half of his answer, which was I want you. His answer was music to my ears titled the greatest declaration of love.
I DON’T NEED YOU, I WANT YOU
Wow. If I were in her shoes, I would have been over the moon. To me, it is never a good thing to need anyone. You always need something for a reason. You always need someone for a reason. This reason could be anything in a relationship, but the most convenient I can think of now are money, society, be admired, be threatened like a king/queen, scared of the unknown, not feeling alone, feeling whole or not hurting the kids. If you want that person, even though you don’t need that person, you love that person. When the want – not need – feeling is mutual, I think you have the best relationship you could ever have.
I’m not saying you should go through life without others. That would be inhuman. But I do think you should be able to. Then, all people you surround you with bring you nothing but joy. Therefore, in order to truly love someone, you have to be strong. And suddenly, the lyric you have to love yourself before you love anyone else can starts to make sense, right?
Unfortunately, she had no idea I was talking about due to the inability of listening thanks to crying and over thinking. According to her I also am a bad friend that chose his side and therefore giving shitty advise. Maybe, I did choose his side. Maybe I had to wait longer to tell her how I thought about it. But she perplexed me. I wanted to show her that he still is her soul mate. That this short conversation is based on a common misunderstanding! I still do. Instead, I haven’t been able to reach her since.
They broke up for good as it seems. 8.000 miles apart and both still in pain by the lost of the other.